Kobe

Have you ever grieved for someone you’ve never met?

The first time I can say I was deeply moved by a stranger’s story was when the Krim family in New York lost two of their three children to homicide. The mom had the middle child at a swimming lesson and the deranged nanny had a psychotic episode and murdered the eldest daughter (who was 7) and toddler son. Pictures were taken of the mother’s face as she was taken away in an ambulance. She was screaming and banging at the windows. It’s stayed with me for a while. I cried on stage recalling it. I wrote a song about it. I grieved with that mother for a while. I joined her group to promote creativity and artistry in school’s in her children’s honors and still get a good stab in my heart when I imagine what she went through upon discovery.... I read the dad’s words a hundred times as he described having to identify them and what his babies looked like to a doting father who was left bereft.

Yesterday, I heard the news that an athlete and hero to so many died. I told my son who is not a basketball fan but was sad just the same because he knew who Kobe was and couldn’t quite make sense of it. I looked Kobe up and saw my friends mourning someone they’ve admired for years- taken too soon. I saw a wife, who just had their fourth daughter. I saw Kobe doting on her as his first love that withstood the time of 20 years which is pretty admirable in that business climate. I couldn’t imagine how she must feel, post partum and losing the love of her life and father to her babies.... when the discovery came that she had also lost her second oldest daughter... I felt shattered. I had wondered what could be worse- losing the love of your life or your own child... both instances could be equally as painful... maybe losing a child could be worse... but both? I can’t stop imagining her grief. Caring for her remaining children, explaining to them that they lost their dad, trying to parent young kids and simultaneously mourn while the rest of the world is snapping pictures in your face and feeling that their grief is comparable to your own... whatever team you rooted for... whatever lives may be more impacted and families who have comparably had it worse.... I hurt for Vanessa. I didn’t know much of them before yesterday, but today, I feel a sharp ache for another woman and mother who just had her whole world thrown into the fire. Be a little kinder today. Throw some love in the air for a grieving family, would ya? Maybe lower your judgment and chill on the memes about this one for a bit....