I’ve been missing transplant so much... I almost forgot why I left besides the absolutely horrific reminders of the shattering heartbreak I continue to feel when I lose another favorite...
Today when I went through my saved email box, I found something that reminded me why I left. I forwarded myself some resources and old letters before I left that position.
When I became an LCSW, I asked for a pay raise. This “merit” increase was an incentive posed to me upon my hiring. The company valued licensed professionals and as ‘we’ grew Miami Transplant Institute (MTI), these extra accreditation’s were favored and would surely be compensated.
The life-changing work Jackson does is unparalleled. I loved my job so much and I think Jackson Memorial Hospital is my forever home...maybe not my current position, but in some way or another. (If I don’t get fired for being such a hot head with poor boundaries). I was quick to come back to a Jackson-affiliated position because I believe in their mission so much and the work my company does takes my breath away all the damn time.
Some people rolled their eyes when the new slogan came out: “Miracles Made Daily.” But, honestly... they do. My gripe is part of the crap with any non-for-profit in that the budget is low and some of the company has some shitty people in high up places. What I learned those three years changed me, shaped me, broke my heart and grew me...
I asked for my merit and some surprising people went to bat for me. Some HR/Recruiter forwarded me her boss’s response to my inquiry with a “see below” statement.
I was almost as insulted by her position to so unapologetically and quickly say ‘nope’ as I was by her excessive use of spacing before and after her semi-colon.
—————————————————————————
As per below criteria, a license is not required for the positions this employee holds ; so, I believe a merit is not applicable.
However, please have her reach out to Labor for further clarification.
Thanks.
————————————————————————-Thanks? What I did next could have landed me in trouble... it started a long career of me standing up to injustice and not standing down to my superiors. I met with an executive who blew me off and would later call on me to save his ass during the Covid crisis. He didn’t remember me from then but he won’t forget me now.
I was hurt. I did what I do, I used my words. I copied some very serious executives in the forward of this HR email with my long-winded response. I read it again today and I’m proud of myself. I was tired. I was angry. I’m glad I wrote it and had the balls to hit send.
I quit three months later... I returned to Jackson five years later to the role of “supervisor.” 💅🏻
————————————————————————10/9/2015
Hello,
It’s interesting, in almost two years, I never got such a quick response to a benefits inquiry. I sincerely appreciate you all for checking. I see how hard you all work while tending to the tedious needs of our cohort. I sat here for a while, submersing myself in outpatient work, trying to figure out how to graciously acknowledge this decision without insulting anyone or compromising my job, but… If I can be honest and vent for a minute, and I am well-aware this will hold no bearing in an amendment of our archaic “process” behind JMH’s “merit” system and her fickle affections…but this month (so far) “merits” a small “step up” for a bit of personal, emotional exhaust to add to the smog of my surroundings. In assessing the source of my discontent, I thought… Is it because of mercury retrograde? Is my moon in feces? I searched my soul to ensure that it wasn’t a stomach bug or simply the result of lack of sleep. I unearthed some personal perspective that may serve upper management with a clearer depiction of what it is like here down on ‘tiers one through three’ and perhaps explain why the door to MTI is a revolving one...
In two years, I’ve studied, been clinically supervised, and I have passed my board exams to become an LCSW in order to increase my credibility in this challenging field. I passed additional state boards and became a Certified Thanatologist so I could best meet the needs of my bereaved families with complete competency. Working with people in end stage illnesses conditioned me to the needs of patients who are actively dying and I made it my mission to identify their needs and find ways to attend to them. I developed rapports with prescription plan programs and insurance agents. I found resources for crematoriums and forged strong rapports with extraordinary empaths who make remembrance art and jewelry to aid in the grief process (for the ‘numbers folks’: this reduces litigation from grieving families). I serve as a continued resource for family members of patients we have long since inactivated in our databases. I even became a notary so I could notarize power of attorney forms and other last minute documents our sick patients might need in order to pass in peace, knowing their loved ones are protected. I have worked 10 and 12 hour days, always on call…always attending to the random needs of patients- faithfully assisting in withdrawal of care and orchestrating CCU-wakes for grief-stricken relatives of loved ones who expired while under the unfortunate care of a dispirited weekend staff –and all too often- during my “vacations”… I have stayed late to accommodate agreement signings for people who work until after 5 and 6pm. I have gone to countless funerals as an emblem of our staff’s acknowledgment of a valued patient’s passing. I organized donations, assistance initiatives and websites for indigent patients. I found countless resources that made people eligible for listing that may have assisted in saving many lives. I compiled valuable case studies to present to our science-minded masters as proof that social support does impact medical outcomes. I’ve covered every service at some point, even when I wasn’t asked to. I stepped in and to take on clients that had “personality conflicts” with some of our most seasoned clinicians from other services. I dotted I’s and crossed t’s when people were attending to personal matters; were suffering from general apathy; or who were too sick, too pregnant, or just “totally over it”.
And none of it was “required”…. And it wasn’t in my job description. And instead of being recognized for something I thought I was entitled to (I was told in my interview that becoming licensed resulted in a step increase that had a subsequent monetary increase, even if it was just a dollar an hour….) Instead, if I work an extra ten hours in a given week, but should I sporadically need to leave 15 minutes early or take an extended lunchbreak to see a physician to combat a UTI I got from not having time to pee during the day- or to treat a stomach ulcer for subsiding solely on coffee and not having time (or money) to eat what isn’t in the vending machine within arm’s reach –If I need a small space to be a human, I have to make sure my supervisors know exactly when I intend to make up that 15 minutes.
It’s insulting. I know there are other people who continue to abuse the trust in our system and so we allmust be micromanaged. I try not to feel like a shamed prisoner while new cameras are installed, new tracking devices for badge swipes and new programs for intra-communique are installed to monitor our productivity/idle time as a result from lackluster production from a selected few. I try not to feel embarrassed that I am forced to swim in baggy uniforms that are itchy and uncomfortable because a few people historically dressed inappropriately- and frankly, the “uniform” is hardly a transparent requirement- more rules are in place for reprimand for non-compliance (losing a day’s pay), whereas if you do something good, you get a slice of cake at the end of the month for “October birthdays.” When some of us do extraordinary things, where is that acknowledgement? How have we the funds to invest in equipment to catch useless employees in suspected acts of insubordination yet no funds to retain those who we “know” are going above and beyond? I don’t mean to be Norma Rae, here…but this is unnerving.
I fight within my own system to make sure patients not only survive, but thrive… And most of it is not in my job description. It just makes me a valuable employee and darn good at what I do. I could sit and pump out the same monotonous narrative of patient’s histories, clearing them in the same assembly line that other services use with less hassle, and still make it home in time before its dark…. but I go to bat for people… and it’s concerning that there is such a lack in reciprocity when it comes to being an employee here. How are we so disposable? How can anyone grow and become a leader in their field while employed within an environment so desolate in motivation? I don’t want to just be ‘employee of the week’ and have a poorly printed certificate and a bowl of old fruit and vending machine prizes because I won an office popularity contest. I don’t want “chips and dip” or “cake pops”. I’m not a kindergartener so easily enchanted by a new MTI tote bag and personalized hand sanitizer.
When I first started here, it was suggested that JMH employees who continued their education- not in an effort to find a better job elsewhere- but to enhance their production-HERE- so much so, that merit raises and reimbursements would be offered as small incentives to encourage employee enrichment. I didn’t bat an eyelash or bother for acknowledgement over personal decisions to be a notary or a certified Thanatologist. But, considering we were asked to become “Clinical Transplant Social Workers” and I was the only one who paid $100 to join the organization and am now going to be the only “Certified Clinical Transplant Social Worker”, I thought that maybe it didfit within the parameters of what this role preferred. I am recognized by the state as an accredited clinician who not only has the education requirements, but has completed the two years of post-graduate criteria that identifies me as a competent, state- appointed professional. Anyone can graduate with a Masters in Social Work. There were plenty of crestfallen lethargists who were very pleased to have ‘just made it by’. None of them are licensed. They all work for EBTs and DMVs or are found studying online to be something more fiscally lucrative while patients wait for help, with blind faith that they’re actually being assisted by ‘selfless advocates’.
I didn’t go into social work to be a millionaire. But I also didn’t get a Master’s Degree to fill patient data into applications all day long… and I do so much more than that. The path is clear. It’s just a shame that this business is growing an empire with a foundation of disloyal, unmotivated constituents while solid investments are disposed of to save a dime.
I fully intend to do what I was hired to do with the same fervor; but I thought you should know, this is a really uninspiring environment…for everyone down here on the lower tiers. I can’t feed my kids left over cake pops. Frankly, it’s making for a really difficult argument to continue to enhance my professional growth when half the exertion results in the same result.
Thanks again for letting me vent.
Sami Rudnick-Hoover, LCSW, CT
Transplant Social Worker
Miami Transplant Institute
Jackson Memorial Hospital
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