Terrible Three

Dear Three,

You are an ass.

Now, I don’t mean the cute cuddlebug that you have stolen from me

And completely usurped into your filthy tormenting world of tumult.

I mean you, three…

Your emotional outbursts, your tasteless tantrums on terrible terrain.

Your noxious name calling.  

Your annoying anecdotes.

Your fisticuffs of feeble fecal fractals.  

The way you litter your loot about our lair

And the way you starve yourself and rob us from slumber simply because….

Your draining demands,

Your whimpers and whines over silly smatterings of nothingness.

The way you augment your aura to make them think you autistic

When you’re really just obstinate.

The ornate way in which you mismatch your socks and shoes

And make them all raise their eyebrows at us for the choices you make

And we haven’t the strength to protest.

You, three.

You who makes our merriment hang at half staff

As you insist on being the nucleus for every event,

Every moment of glee

Or rest

Or reflection.

You, three…

I banish you into oblivion.

Go away and come not back to us.

Hurry four,

Beat up three

And surpass the ass that is he

Oh futile, fuehrer three.

Bring my one back to me.